So as previously mentioned, John and I did a trip to Seoul on one of his breaks from school last fall, basically from October 1rest to the 5th. I would have to say that it was one of the most positive trips we have been on and everything went very smoothly when it came to accommodations and travel. I think because it was a longer stay than other trips we had been on we were able to get a feel for our little neighborhood and the vibe of the city. It was great to pass someone on the street and feel comfortable enough to ask them where to eat, shop or sightsee and, of course we look like tourists and pretty friendly ones at that so we do get approached on occasion to have our picture taken but mostly we get longer stares then normal which takes some getting used to. At any rate we were sitting at a little bench outside our hotel after a couple of nights in Seoul and a gentleman came along and he was well dressed and motioned to us that he would like to sit down. Of course we were fine with this and then we started to chat with him. He had limited English speaking skills but we managed and we shared a cigar with him and he was very polite and curious about us. As the evening went on we were getting tired from our day but this gentleman kept wanting to talk so asked us if we would like a coffee so we said sure and we entered the little restaurant below our hotel. He bought John and I a coffee and offered to buy us dessert and so we shared one and the evening continued. After awhile I was getting more tired so decided to head up to our room. John stayed and chatted with our new Korean friend and found out that his name was Song and he didn’t have a good marriage and was lonely. He and John started to talk about his life and views and John learned many things from him. He was actually better at communicating by writing so he and John exchanged notes on paper and went back and forth for awhile. Eventually John came back to the room and we got up in the morning and spent another day sightseeing and ended up outside the hotel the next night having a cigar and who should come along again but Song. We weren’t sure at this point whether he was actually coming home from work again at the same time or he was watching for us and it doesn’t matter at this point as we were getting to like him. This evening he decided that he wanted to take John out to a karaoke bar. So John obliged and off they went as once again I was a little tired from the day’s outings and I get up early so I felt it was harmless enough to let the two men go out.
As John explains it, karaoke is a bit different in Korea. Basically you go to a little room and there is a microphone and maybe enough room for a couch for a few people to sit and listen. So he said he and Song would sing their hearts out to each other. Song would sing in English some heartbreaking song and John would sit and listen on the couch and then John would take his turn and undoubtedly eventually felt a little awkward in the little room but felt that Song was just needing some company.
So the third night rolls around and we are heading back to Beijing the next day and since we are creatures of habit, once again we are having our cigar outside the hotel and along comes Song. This time he is dressed in casual clothes and looks very different and comfortable in jeans and a tshirt. We start chatting again and he says to me ‘Wendy, I think you are beautiful. I wonder what you looked like when you were younger.” I laugh and say, “ You are too kind but thank you and I do have a photo of John and I when we got married.” Well this is one of those times when ‘you had to be there’. He looked at my photo and he says “You look like Audrey Hepburn and he starts laughing and quoting lines from the movie ‘Roman Holiday’ and he mentions the part where Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn visit the rock with the hole in the wall and he has her put her arm in and then he puts his in and he fakes that it is grabbed…anyway you have to know the movie and I’m not sure what was funnier, Song acting out the movie or John’s reaction to him and I knowing the exact scene he was talking about. Very cute interaction and obviously flattered that he thought I resembled Audrey Hepburn!
Again the evening progressed and in his own cute way Song says to me. “Wendy, Are you tired tonight? Maybe you want to go back to your room…? Basically he was wanting to go out with John again to go sing karaoke. So off they went.
Getting back to thinking about people by the fire last night, this story came to mind because it reminded me of being lonely when John was away his first year in Beijing and that it was very hard on both of us. It made me think that we really don’t understand what others are going through sometimes and that we have all probably got similar stories from each of our lives. I am hoping that during this quiet quarantine time we have learned something about ourselves and about each other. I hope that when we have seen someone struggling that we have hopefully helped out and put our best effort forward to make a difference in the life of someone who is lonely and to realize the importance of sharing a coffee or a smile or a story with someone even for a brief moment. Hopefully it is a lesson that John and I have learned from meeting Song. We have learned to be more open to listening to others whether strangers, friends or family. Song continues to reach out to us by email usually once a month. He asks us how we are doing and apologizes for his bad English but always checks in with us and it makes us feel good to know that someone a world away is thinking of us sometimes as we do of him. And as I sat by the fire last night I was grateful for this lesson.